This post is something I’ve been working on for a while. And by “a while”, I mean, at least a month. I still don’t feel ready to hit publish yet, but it’s something that I felt I needed to say and to share.
2014 was a rough year for me. I struggled with work. I struggled with life. I struggled with happiness. I tried to put a smile on my face for as much of the time as possible, but for a lot of the time, I felt empty. I no longer felt like “me”.
As a result of this, I was uninspired by blogging. I had started to publish posts that I thought people wanted to see, not the ones I wanted to write. As a result, I had started to get severely anxious about what got posted. My drafts folder got filled up with half written posts that would never see the light, and my blog got quieter and quieter.
In December, I knew I needed a change. I knew I needed help. I started a new treatment of antidepressants and anti-anxieties. (I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and while I've been struggling for a long time, I fought the idea of taking meds for ages, lord knows for what reason). I took a month off from work, and I decided to take time off from the blog. (Even though I had planned an extensive Christmas-themed month). I took the time to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do.
I’m still not back to normal yet, but I’m on my way there. (As my brother said tongue-in-cheek to me as I was popping my morning pills, “You've become slightly more tolerable on those things”.) So I want to thank you for being patient as I slowly work my way back into blogging. I’m not going to be enforcing a blogging schedule. I'm just going to be working at my own pace and publishing posts that I feel like sharing. I hope that you'll stick around to follow them (use the buttons in the side bar to follow me and find out when new posts are published).