Monday, 2 February 2015

Let's Talk

This post is something I’ve been working on for a while. And by “a while”, I mean, at least a month. I still don’t feel ready to hit publish yet, but it’s something that I felt I needed to say and to share.

2014 was a rough year for me. I struggled with work. I struggled with life. I struggled with happiness. I tried to put a smile on my face for as much of the time as possible, but for a lot of the time, I felt empty. I no longer felt like “me”.

As a result of this, I was uninspired by blogging. I had started to publish posts that I thought people wanted to see, not the ones I wanted to write. As a result, I had started to get severely anxious about what got posted. My drafts folder got filled up with half written posts that would never see the light, and my blog got quieter and quieter.

In December, I knew I needed a change. I knew I needed help. I started a new treatment of antidepressants and anti-anxieties. (I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and while I've been struggling for a long time, I fought the idea of taking meds for ages, lord knows for what reason). I took a month off from work, and I decided to take time off from the blog. (Even though I had planned an extensive Christmas-themed month). I took the time to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do.

I’m still not back to normal yet, but I’m on my way there. (As my brother said tongue-in-cheek to me as I was popping my morning pills, “You've become slightly more tolerable on those things”.) So I want to thank you for being patient as I slowly work my way back into blogging. I’m not going to be enforcing a blogging schedule. I'm just going to be working at my own pace and publishing posts that I feel like sharing. I hope that you'll stick around to follow them (use the buttons in the side bar to follow me and find out when new posts are published).


29 comments:

  1. I'm glad that you have taken time off and are getting the help you need.
    Your blog is for you, write what and when you want, and don't worry about content or writing for us readers - blogging is great therapy so don't be afraid to use it as such!
    That quote is amazing... I need to frame it.
    XX Lots of love!

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    1. Thank you Jane! I will definitely start looking at blogging as a creative/therapeutic outlet and try not to stress so much about it!

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  2. Hey Sweets! So many of us in the same boat. I'm so glad you are pulling yourself towards yourself! And we're here for you! MWAH!

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  3. You stand strong , you are awesome and you will conquer it! We will be here always!
    Love and hugs x x H

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    1. Thank you for these words, Heather! Love back!

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  4. Sending a ridiculous amount of love and support your way! Publish whenever and whatever you want - I'm always interested to read :D x

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  5. So nice to see someone else helping themselves.. I've been battling depression and anxiety for the last 12 or so years (at least that was when the doctor diagnosed me, but they think it had been going on longer). I've been on and off meds, and am on my third type of medication now, as the past two didn't work for me with my body's chemistry (one made me gain crazy weight and the other made me feel numb - we don't take these things to make us feel happy, we take them to make us feel NORMAL)

    I've started to now be able to notice the signs of when I'm going seriously downhill and prevent myself from curling up in a ball in my room and not leaving. I know that I need to stay on my meds and not just stop them, and I know when I may need an extra half a tablet for a couple of days.

    The only way I can fix the way I feel is by knowing when I need to take a timeout of things and when I need to actually just push through.

    You're not the only one who feels like this, and I hope your month off really did help

    xxxx

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    1. Thank you so much for this comment Siobhan and for sharing your story! Being on medication has helped so much, it's cut the number of days I want to spend curled up in a ball by like 90% already. It also really helps to know that there are others who feel the same way, that we're not "crazy", we just need some help getting back to normal.

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  6. That's a hard thing to deal with but I am happy for you that you have found treatment that works. And as for blogging you should only ever publish something that you have written for you - forget everyone else.

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  7. Good for you, for listening to your body and your heart, and doing what you needed to do to find you again. Lots of love xxx

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    1. Thank you Gaelyn! Sending love back!

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  8. Sending so much love, Laura! I can relate in so many ways… keep on keeping on, and stay strong! xxx

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  9. I was wondering why it was so quiet here, but happy that you are getting treatment that will hopefully help you in the long run :) As for the blog, it's yours and you should write what you want. I agree with janetennet above, writing and creating content is great therapy, and you really could use it as such.

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  10. I actually started crying when I read that quote. That's exactly how I feel and tough times can seem even more tough when other people don't understand what you're going through. Sending BIG hugs.

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    1. Sending big hugs your way, H! I thought that quote was something that everyone could relate to - life gets really hard sometimes and it helps to know that you're not alone!

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  11. Hey Laura,

    I commend you for your bravery! Those that follow your blog do it because, we love your content. Write from your heart/soul, we appreciate it more than just blogging for the sake of blogging. I particular love your nail blogs.

    You are beautiful and a great writer. Sending hugs and good vibes your way!

    Lalannie

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Lalannie!

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  12. Aaah I know how you feel hun. I have GAD and even small, everyday things can become quite difficult to cope with. Good on you for being open and honest about everything. Work at your own pace and put out what you feel good about. It's always a difficult thing to juggle - putting out posts for yourself or for your readers. Do what makes you happy. I'll still read it no matter what ;)

    Good luck and hope this year is much better xx

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  13. Just because you are on medication definitely does not mean you are weak. It takes a strong person to do and say what you have.
    Don't blog for other people, do it for your own enjoyment and you will see that nothing changes. Your loyal readers will still support you every step of the way.
    I am sure 2015 will be a better year for you. Sending you strength xx

    Love Chantelle
    http://www.cocktailsandmemories.co.za

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  14. Thank you for sharing this with us. As someone who relates to this post, it took a lot of strength for you to post this.

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